Planning Your Wedding
Ceremony
Wedding
Ceremony Location
Many couples getting married choose to
have the traditional church wedding. Others 
prefer
to have their wedding ceremony
in another location. Some of these less traditional locations
include the beach, a beautiful garden or park, a community center,
country club, hotel, hall, someone's home, a historical museum,
extravagant resort, vintage winery, or even the local city hall.
Today's weddings are becoming more creative and
are more a reflection of the characters of the engaged couple.
The locations available for wedding ceremonies
are endless. With the nontraditional location usually these locations
are used for other purposes and can sometimes bring a few minor
problems and obstacles to overcome. Wherever you plan to have
your wedding ceremony, check out the location
thoroughly and make sure you ask lots of questions. The wedding
ceremony is a very important part of the wedding
plans and you don't need any surprises later. If the people at
the location are experienced in doing wedding
ceremonies, ask how other couples have planned
their wedding ceremony to help
give you an idea on how to use the facilities for your own wedding
ceremony.
Your Type of Wedding Ceremony
Wedding ceremonies take on many different
looks with plenty of options available for couples getting married.
Discuss your ceremony needs and wants before selecting your wedding
officiant. Not all wedding officiants do all types of ceremonies.
Your wedding ceremony should suit you as a couple and should reflect
your core believes. Some of the wedding ceremony types include
religious, spiritual, non-denominational, inter-faith, traditional,
contemporary and even wedding ceremonies with unique themes. The
type of wedding you select will depend on your belief system,
traditions you want to follow, family culture, the officiant you
want to use and the style of your wedding you're planning. The
bottom line is, your wedding ceremony should be meaningful to
you as a couple, it should reflect the people you are and it should
be an ultimate celebration of your union of love.
Wedding Ceremony Vows
More
and more couples are choosing to write their own vows for the
wedding ceremony to reflect
their feelings or beliefs. Talk this over with your officiant
to see what portions of the wedding ceremony
you can write for yourselves if you wish to personalize your vows.
Some people want their personalized vows to come straight from
them, but if you do need a few ideas to get you going, the internet
is a great place to get some inspiring words.
I like to have a couple start with just
writing down words that they associate with getting married like:
happiness, eternal, love, trust, sharing, honour, uniting, life
commitment, support, caring, dreams, and adore.
Then using these words, write your vows of commitment to each
other. Describe a little about how you feel about the other person
and then give your promise, or vows to them.
The Family Wedding Ceremony or Family Medallion Ceremony
Many second marriages
today also involve the integration of two families. Some couples
who already have children decide to include the 
children
in their wedding ceremony. They actually have a part of the
wedding ceremony dedicated to the uniting of the family.
This is an amazing way to help children feel accepted and a part
of this new and important change in life. If you wish to do something
like this, talk to your wedding officiant. You
can even write vows for each of the family members and light a
candle together. Another related ceremony is
the family medallion ceremony. It also expresses the importance
of family in a marriage. During the wedding ceremony,
after the ring exchange, the Bride and Groom give each of their
children a medal medallion symbolizing their love and the uniting
of the family as a whole. The medallions are usually made of sterling
silver or gold and come in the form of pendants, rings, lapel
pins, or charm bracelets. The design on the medallion is three
linked circles representing the uniting of the family with the
top two linked circles representing the Bride
and Groom and these two circles both linking
through the bottom link representing the child. What a wonderful
keepsake for children to help them remember your wedding
day.
Small Children in
Your Wedding Ceremony
If you are having small children in your
wedding party and they seem to be shy or a little
uncertain of where they should stand at the front for the wedding
ceremony 
here's
a little tip to help them out. At the wedding
rehearsal and on the wedding day, place a one
or two dollar coin on the floor where the children will be standing
when they reach the front. This gives them a definite landmark
to look for. Let the whole wedding party and all other involved
in the wedding know what you are doing so no one kicks or picks
up the coin. Little ones can get a little overwhelmed with the
so many faces looking at them while they are making their way
down the aisle. This way they’ll know exactly where to stand
at the front when they get there. You can also tell them if they
stay standing quietly on it, they can keep it after the wedding
ceremony is 
completely
over. This just might may keep them from roaming around in the
middle of the wedding ceremony. Have a second
coin in your pocket so you don't have to remember it or bend down
to get it. We have used this trick at many of our weddings
and it usually works wonders. Always remember to tell them that
there will be lots of family and friends in the seats to prepare
them for the day. Remember, children are always unpredictable
and when you decide to include them in your wedding
party you have to go with the flow and be ready for some unexpected
behaviour. If you're having a receiving line, you may or may not
want small children standing in the line. If you would like them
to stand in the line be sure to ask their parents to stay close
by so if they get bored or tired of standing they can step out
of the wedding receiving line.
Another issue that may seem simple enough,
but you would be surprised how many people forget to make sure
that small children use the restroom right before the wedding
ceremony. Right before the ceremony is a very busy time in the
day, and it may not come to mind. It's a good idea to assign someone
to remind the parents of the little ones to go before leaving
for the ceremony so they don't announce that they "have to
go" in the middle of your wedding ceremony. Some children
also get very wound up when they are trying to "hold it",
making it very distracting for your wedding guests trying watching
you exchange your vows.
Symbolic Wedding Ceremonies
Unity Candles
and the Symbolic Use of Crystals and Wine Sharing
Loving words can add to your wedding ceremony and make it meaningful.
Using imagery in your wedding ceremony
to communicate your love for one another makes a powerful statement.
The most common is the use of a unity candle. Usually, the mothers
of the Bride and Groom light
the outside candles symbolizing the life they gave to their children.
Those two candles can also be lit before the wedding
ceremony begins. Then during the wedding ceremony
the Bride and Groom use their
lit candles to light the unity candle together symbolizing their
lives coming together as one as the two flames become one. The
couple can keep the unity candle as a keepsake and relight the
candle on those romantic anniversary dinners. Always use a candle
snuffer when putting candles out during the wedding ceremony.
Veils catch fire very easily, so you don't want the flame anywhere
near your face when trying to blow it out.
Wine Sharing
An alternative to the unity candle is the Wine Sharing ceremony.
Again, after the rings have been exchanged the Groom
pours a glass of wine or champagne for his Bride
and himself. They then drink together and share the celebration
of their new marriage with their wedding
guests looking on. They may then choose to turn to the wedding
guests and hand out a rose to each of their parents, grandparents
or other special guests.
Crystals and
Sand
Another wonderful idea that is becoming more popular is the use
of crystals and sand. Each of the parents, grandparents or special
guests is seated in the front seat and is 
given
a small glass container of sand, coloured sand or salt. We would
suggest at least a couple colours of sand in your wedding
colours. Again, after the exchange of rings, the Bride
and Groom then visit each person with a small
vial of sand and collects the sand into a med size glass/crystal
vase. Then the Bride and Groom
come together with their glass or crystal vase of sand and together
pour the sand into another larger glass or crystal vase. They
should alternate pouring the sand so the colours are layered.
The two colours of sand make a wonderful visual message of their
lives mixing together. The vase of sand can be displayed as a
decorative piece in the home of the newlyweds
as a reminder of their wedding day. Look around
for vases with a unique shape and you can even have the largest
vase etched with your names and wedding date.
Bridal
Bouquet of Love and Mothers' Bouquet
A change from the traditional Bride's bouquet
of flowers is to have a Bridal Bouquet of Love.
Before the wedding ceremony
begins you will arrange for the guests who have had a special
place in the Bride's life to sit in the pews
near the aisle. Each of them is given a long stem flower. It is
explained to them that the Bride will be collecting
the flower from them as she makes her way down the aisle. This
is a symbol of how these special people have contributed to her
life. As she receives her flower from each person, he or she can
express their best wishes to her. When she reaches the front,
her maid of honor will assist her in tying the flowers together
with a ribbon that she has with her or that the Bride
has been carrying. This is a great way of involving the special
people in your life and of making your wedding
ceremony more memorable to you and to them.
The Mother's Bouquet is a special bouquet
made up at the florists that is actually three bouquets in one:
your main bridal bouquet plus two smaller detachable
bouquets for your mothers. Without telling your mothers ahead
of time, have these made and give them to your mothers. You will
need to inform the person walking you down the aisle and the Groom
of your intentions and tell them how it will occur. There are
two ways you can have this take place. When you reach the end
of the aisle you can take a moment to untie your bouquet and give
one of the small bouquets to the Groom and you
take the other to give to your mother. The two of you can deliver
the bouquets to your respective mother with a kiss and a thank
you. Then return to the front for the wedding
ceremony to begin. The other way is to have the person who is
walking you down the aisle to wait a moment while you untie your
mother's bouquet only and give it to him to give to your mother
as he sits with her. After the wedding ceremony,
stop before leaving at the first pew and have your new husband
deliver the other small bouquet to his mother.
Wedding Guests Seating
In a Christian wedding ceremony the Bride's
family and friends sit on the left side of the church facing the
alter and the Groom's family and friends on the right. In a Jewish
wedding this is usually reversed with the Bride's family and friends
being on the right and the Groom's family and friends on the left.
Usually the usher's will ask the wedding guests as they arrive
to the ceremony if they are on the Bride or Groom's side if they
don't already know. They will take the arm of each of the women
guest and escort them to their seat. If they are accompanied by
a man, the man should follow. If a male guest arrives alone the
usher shows them to their seat. The Bride's mother is the last
guest to be seated, with the Groom's mother seated immediately
before. Any guests arriving after she is seated must wait until
after the processional to be seated. When the Bride's mother is
seated it signals that the music should start for the processional.
Wedding Ceremony Programs
Wedding ceremony programs are becoming
more popular and are a wonderful way to introduce your wedding
party and give your wedding guests a written memento of the wedding
ceremony. Guests can follow along in the program as the wedding
ceremony proceeds. You can place the wedding ceremony programs
on the wedding guests' seats before the wedding ceremony begins
or have the ushers pass them out to the guests as they arrive
to the wedding ceremony location. I prefer handing them as you
go because it ensures that everyone that wants one gets one.
Wedding ceremony programs are easy enough
to make on your own with your computer. A simple page printed
on both sides and folded as a flyer works just fine. Include a
photo with your names on the front page. Inside include pictures
of your wedding party with their names, position in the wedding
party and how they are related to, or how they know the bride
and/or groom. The program should include the order the ceremony
is to follow. Your officiant can help you with the wording and
order of the ceremony. Include and music and special speakers.
It's also nice to include a special poem or writing that is special
to you if you have room. If the program is more than on page,
use ribbon or other embellish to hold the pages together. Wedding
ceremony programs can also be professionally done to save you
some time or if your not sure or comfortable doing it yourself.
Wedding Ceremony Music
Your wedding ceremony
music is important and is also a very personal choice. You can
have any style of music including classical, more modern 
or
even religious music. You will need to pick out songs for many
parts of the wedding ceremony. The prelude is
before the wedding ceremony
while guests wait for the ceremony to start.
The processional is when family, the wedding party
and the Bride walk down the aisle. The interlude
is during the wedding ceremony, and the recessional
is when the new husband and wife walk down the aisle after the
ceremony. See our wedding
song list page for ideas of music. You may wish to have a
person to play the keyboard, have someone to sing, and/or have
someone to play a special instrument like a harp, for sections
of the wedding ceremony. You may need to buy
the sheet music for special songs you want played. Give it to
the person you hire to play the music to ensure they can play
it well. The sheet music also makes a nice keepsake of your wedding.
If you can find the sheet music fairly inexpensively you may wish
to buy a second backup copy incase your musician looses their
copy. If you don't get the sheet music back, you will still have
a copy as a memento.
Dove and Butterfly Releasing at Wedding Ceremonies
Some
couples arrange to release doves or butterflies outdoors immediately
after their wedding ceremony. They make for terrific
photo opportunities. Doves are beautiful and mate for life, making
them a wonderful symbol of the marriage for a
couple. It is best to release doves during the day before twilight.
If you wish to release doves, talk to the company that handles
dove release to see how they operate. Usually the company delivers
and sets up outside the place of wedding ceremony.
Butterflies are usually kept in a cool place so they can sleep
until they are being used. Then they are brought into the warmth
for about an hour before the release so they wake up. You can
have just the Bride and Groom
release a dove or butterfly, or each member of the wedding
party can also so the releasing. Please be sure to make
sure everyone is well informed about handling instructions when
using live creatures.
Wedding
Planning Tips
Loose the Gum
Many people use gum to freshen their breath. Please note that
nothing looks less elegant than someone chewing during the wedding
ceremony. If you can, remember to dispose of the gum
before entering the place of ceremony. If you're not sure you'll
remember, maybe mints would be a better choice.
Making Your Entrance
When the doors open, the music changes, people stand and the bride
appears in the doorway, she should take a moment and just stand
in the doorway for a few extra seconds. This is a great way to
have a real presence. This gives people a chance to take pictures,
the bride can scan the room and see people in the crowd, and people
can get a really good look at her before she proceeds down the
isle. This also gives her an opportunity to catch her breath and
enjoy the moment. It's very easy to get caught up in the moment
and rush down the isle. She should remember to take it slow and
let the groom watch her so they can have a special moment together
as their eyes meet.
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