Choosing Your Wedding
Party
Choosing Your Best Man
and Maid of Honour/Matron of Honour
 The
roles of the Best Man and Maid/Matron of
Honour in a wedding are significant and
the positions should be taken earnestly. Really think through the
decision of who you would like to stand up for you in these positions
for your wedding. You will want to pick people
that are not only special to your heart, but who are also reliable
and responsible. You will be counting on these people to help you
on your wedding day and with the plans to bring
things together. You want people you can really depend on to get
the job done right. Standing up for you is both an honour and also
a job that requires work and dedication.
Choosing the Rest of Your Wedding
Party
The number of wedding
attendants you choose to stand up for you is totally up to you.
Nowadays, anything goes but traditionally, informal weddings
had up to three attendants, semi-formal had up to six, and formal
had up to twelve. Some couples let the Bride choose
her side of the wedding party and the Groom
choose his while others try to even out the sides with a couple
special people to both the Bride and Groom
on either side. When choosing your attendants bare in mind the personalities
of the people you are considering. Your wedding party
will be spending quite a bit of time together and it helps if their
personalities mesh well. Also beware of any hard feelings between
people. It can bring problems and tension to your wedding
if you have a feud or ill feelings in the way.
When choosing the position of your wedding
attendants, you may wish to position them by how long you have known
them. The ones you have known the longest should be the closest
to you. This may stop feelings from being hurt because you can't
contest time.
You may wish to pick people that live close
to you if they will be really involved in the wedding
 plans.
If you don't really want others involved in your wedding
plans distance will not be as much of a factor.
If you do choose someone to be in your wedding party
that lives quite a distance away, remember they won't likely be
able to help you out during the planning stages of the
wedding. Think about how long you have known people
and how involved they have been in your life. Family members are
always a good choice because you know they will always be in your
life.
When choosing the people for their wedding
party, sometimes Brides and Grooms
do things differently than the traditional roles so they can have
the people they want stand up for them. Occasionally they have more
than one person in a role or even have people of the opposite sex
of the traditional role, for example, having two Maids of Honour
or a woman as a Best Man. It's your wedding; you can do as you wish.
Wedding Party Working Together
It's a good idea to make up a Wedding
Party Contact List with all the contact information
of each member of your wedding party. Give a list
to each member so they can keep in touch with the other members
of your wedding party. This will
come in handy when arrange parties, running errors, arranging meetings,
and helping out one another with wedding details.
It's s a great idea to arranging a meeting of the wedding party.
This doesn't have to be anything formal, it can be done over drinks
and munchies. This will give your wedding party an opportunity before
the wedding to get to know each other in a less formal environment.
The goal here is to help them feel more comfortable together and
in turn make the communication between them easier. This will help
create a foundation to their relationships as they will be working
together and socializing together throughout the wedding planning
and on your wedding day.
You can also take this time to hand out
complete copies of your Wedding
Party Contact List to each member, inviting them to call each
other when needed. Another important issue you can address at this
meeting is the required tasks the need to be done before and on
the wedding day. Write down who will be participate and complete
these tasks. Keep this information in your wedding planning binder
under the Wedding Party category.
If wedding party members ask about their
duties, you can give them a copy of our printable wedding party
duties worksheets for their position. I don't recommend you just
give them a list as that could be viewed as pushy and rude.
The Roles and Duties of the Wedding
Party
Sometimes wedding attendants
don't know what is actually expected of them in their role as one
of your wedding attendants. Some people have lots
of experience standing up for couples and for others it may be their
first time. A list of duties is a good place for them to start to
give them idea of what's involved in being in their role. The list
includes possible duties and things they can do to help you during
the wedding plans and on your wedding
day. See the list below for each of the wedding party positions
if it's asked for. Keep in mind every wedding is different as is
the need tasks for that wedding. All you can really expect is they
be flexible, supportive and helpful throughout the wedding
plans and on the wedding day. It is just
as important that you treat them with appreciation, respect, patience
and understanding.
Men
Best
Man's Duties
Ushers' Duties
Ring Bearer's Duties
Father
of the Bride's Duties
Father of the Groom's Duties
Women
Maid
of Honor / Matron of Honor's Duties
Bride's Maids' Duties
Flower Girl's Duties
Mother of the Bride's Duties
Mother of the Groom's Duties
The Roles and Duties of the Family in a Wedding
Family involvement
is almost certain when it comes to planning a wedding.
After all, it is one of the biggest events planned
in a family. Family members are often the greatest source of support
and council throughout this time of stress and excitement. They
can also help with some of the many tasks that need to be done during
the wedding plans and this alone will help relieve
stress and save you time. 
The family's financial support varies from
wedding to wedding and should
be talked about early in the engagement. If your parents will be
helping pay for your wedding, be sure to plan
your budget well. Sit down with both sides of the family (even a
couple of times) and discuss what financial support will be given
and break things down into individual items. Some working couples
today take on the full expense of their wedding,
but still relying on their families' guidance, hands on work, love
and support.
Who's Walking The Bride Down The Aisle?
It use to be that in most cases the Bride
was walked down the aisle by her father. Nowadays, with divorce
and remarriage more common than it use to be, many Brides
are left with the dilemma of who should walk her down the aisle
on her wedding day. With weddings
being open to more variations, Brides have many
options. Some Brides have their father walk them
down the aisle halfway and have their stepfather walk them the other
half to represent the two halves of her life. Some have their mother
walk them down the aisle to show her appreciation for all her mother's
hard work and dedication in bringing her up. Some have more than
one parent walk them down the aisle because they were all involved
in bringing her up. Some Brides even walk down
the aisle by themselves to show their independence. Today's weddings
are much more flexible and personalized; giving couples the chance
to plan their wedding in a way that is meaningful
to them. We encourage you to be creative and plan
your wedding in a way that fits your family, live
style and personality.
GodParents' Role in Wedding
Godparents are like surrogate parents that
offer their love, support and blessing. The support can be emotionally
or financially. Their roles in the wedding
vary from person to person, and it is best to ask the Bride
and Groom and/or their parents of their wishes
and where they feel the Godparents' support is best needed with
the wedding plans. Depending on
the family’s situation and the relationships with all concerned,
it will alter how much involvement is required. You may find yourself
quite involved in the wedding plans
if the relationship is very close. Godparents can play an active
role in the wedding itself also. Some of these things could include
lighting candles, handing out programs, greeting guests at the wedding
reception, making a speech, coordinating the speeches
as the MC or even walking the Bride down the aisle.
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Next Step: Define Your
Wedding Vision
 Wedding
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Wedding
Budget Worksheet – Printable
Wedding
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Wedding
Guests Invitation Worksheet - Printable
Wedding
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